I married Bobby when I was 58 years old and he was 62. By that time, most people have lived their married life, had their children and moved on to retirement, together. We didn't have that chance. He was a widower and I had just lived through a divorce from a 24 year old marriage.I was living just fine. I had a good job, owned my own nice home, had a car and truck that were paid for. I owed no one. No one told me what to do. I shoveled my own snow, cut my grass and went where I wanted.
Except I didn't.
I saved a lot of money, because I went no where and did nothing. It was the perfect time of my life but I had no joy from it. Except for the comfort of a picture of Jesus Christ on the wall, I was always alone. I wanted to be alone. My daily prayer was....Father, if there is someone out there for me, you'll have to send him. I'm not going out to look.
I suffered from a horrible depression after my divorce, and was still at the end of it. When work was done, I went straight home, and was in my p.j.'s by 5 p.m. I had my quilt on my chair, watched t.v. or listened to my books on tape. I went to bed at 8 o'clock and got up at 5 a.m....for 4 years. I saw my children on weekends and holidays and cherished the time with them. I even put forth an effort to cook dinner, not realizing it was the only time I cooked.
I had a friend who asked me to meet "this nice guy." Too much effort for me. No thanks. My friend said he's perfect for me. I asked how so and she said she didn't know, couldn't explain it. No thanks...and if you don't know, I'll stay like I am...my life is fine. The sad part? I thought it was. I was on top of the world!
During the course of 8 months, this friend asked me to meet "nice guy" 3 times. I turned her down. Why would I want to mess up my routine? I liked living alone.
One day my friend called to ask me to a girls night out. It was like pulling teeth for her. I gave every excuse I had, but she won, and I went. It was fun, dinner and a band, with just girls.
Of course, the conversation got on "nice guy" and I felt trapped. The other girls knew him and went on and on about him. My friend said we were perfect for each other. I told her that statement bugged me, without the whys. She didn't know why.
"Nice guy" had a boat and the girls went out with him in the summer. I was asked to go, and agreed. After all, it was January and I could always bow out.
My so called friend gave "nice guy" my email address. Thanks kid...that's all I needed. After ignoring the emails, she gave him my phone number. It was time for a killing!
"Nice guy" seemed to misunderstand every thing I said and I'd have to explain my comments, which irritated the garbage out of me....but he would not stop calling. I was fed up with him and the intrusion into my life and when he asked to meet me for coffee, I went in full force. Now, I could tell him what I thought of him, and our mutual friend! Bring it on, Bud, you're going to get it!
We lived 83 miles apart, so one Wednesday evening, we drove halfway to meet. I remember being angry that I had to go out of my way, and wanted to be home in my p.j.'s.
I got to the restaurant first. He called stating he'd be a little late. I worked all day and he did not. He was retired, and was going to be late? The more that went on, the worse it got. My anger was white hot.
I ordered 2 coffee's, and waited. And waited. I had my head turned, looking out the window and heard someone clear their throat. I turned around to stare at a belt buckle. Ok, I'll look up to the lowest button on his shirt. I could hear him chuckling, a little. My eyes moved up two more buttons. As I lingered there, he asked "why is my coffee across the table? I didn't drive this far to sit over there." Damn! Now, I had to look up because he spoke. I slowly went up one more button, and then I was at his throat. He made not a sound. I took a deep breath, looked at his face. All of the anger was gone. He sat down and stared at me. He stared so close at me, I could feel my deodorant failing.
We talked for quite awhile. We continued talking on the phone for 10 more days when he asked me to visit him for the weekend. If we had not know mututal people, I would have refused, but I figured if he was a serial killer, someone would find me.
At the start of all of this, I went to his house. I didn't want him involved in my life, so soon. After awhile, I invited him to my home. Here's the scary part...he started coming over in March. My Christmas decorations were not completely down! (Don't forget....I was busy watching t.v.) When I went to work, he took them down, packed them away without saying a word. He cleaned my garage. He changed the oil in my vehicles. He carried out trash....made dinner. What was he thinking? What was he doing?
After a few more months, he proposed. I expect my reaction would have scared off the strongest of men. I laughed. I laughed because I truly thought he was kidding. He expected me to give up on this life I was living?
He proposed to me 5 times and I stopped laughing, but explained why my answer was no.
On the 6th proposal, I turned the tables and asked him why. He gave me the right answers. I said yes.
After we were married, our mutual friend came to our home for a visit. We were on the deck, eating, and all of a sudden, she yelled "I know what it is!"...and was met with complete silence for a few seconds. Then she said "Remember when I told you that you guys were perfect for each other and I couldn't explain it? It was the hurt....you both had the same look of hurt and pain in your eyes, but it's gone. I can't see it anymore."
So, we bought a home 83 miles away from where I worked. His parents are still here and need him, and it was to be our retirement home. Big mistake. I traveled, he traveled....anything for time with each other. I came home Friday nights at 6 p.m. and left Sunday at 4 p.m. for 3 years.
I have since then retired, I am home all of the time and at first, I enjoyed being home so much, he did the grocery shopping. I did not want to go anywhere. It is calming down, now.
So, I gave up my p.j.s and t.v. routine for a life with love, companionship, to be with someone so alike me, it's odd. We were both born in Kentucky and when he uses his country slang around my children, I tell them what he means. We love the same programs, working in the yard, growing gardens and flowers, freezing and canning, traveling to see our families, pick up trucks, computers, country decorating, country music, playing guitars, we refurbish furniture and love to work with our tools, we like the same food and we have the same belief in God. My Mother was ill and spent seven months with us. He never complained. He's interested in my crafts and tells everyone he meets about the book I wrote.
Remember when he was late for our coffee meeting? I found out later, he changed clothes several times, stopped at his Mothers home and paced until she told him to sit down!
When I said my daily prayer to Jesus? Jesus was my companion, my room mate during that time of my life, but He answered my prayer when the time was right. I was asked to meet this man several times over a course of eight months. The Lord let me meet him when His time was right..and my Bobby is, indeed, the answer to my prayers.
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